m3

after such a long time,at last I’m back here to express myself here again…well it really have been a troublesome three whole month now..i have be keeping it to myself it is difficult at first but now is much more..so i think i better let the whole world know how hard to live no our own…haiz..working and spm coming soon  i really dunno how to continue this life…every time under pressure and sleep late and stress it really killing me soon…sometime i also feel like wanna suicide but god is the one who decide,so it would be meaningless if i murder myself yet i not dead…

but again i said it is better commit my problem to god itself…let him make the part for me to walk and let him who decide my fate…

Sitting by myself,viewing all my memories thinking about my pass and searching deep in my heart…all i can find is a person looking for answer all his life…

As i look deep into my heart,i saw a person? a person walking in a unknown dark part without knowing where it heading or going to…

As he walks on those road he falls down,sometimes he even fell into potholes and injured himself badly…but he still stand up and moves along ignoring all the pain to a place where he can find peace and rest…

But all his life he has been searching for the place,but he never found the place in his part…

As he sit down on the paved-road at the middle of no way and in darkness

I look closer,step by step i move near to him..

Soon i only found out the person is ME…never know y he can be this lost and confuse about himself in this life…

As i ask him,he tell me tat he never know tat the plan and hope tat he has have juz fate away like tat without knowing all why’s…but he never give up and continue his walk juz to search for the answer..

As he seek and looked everyway,he never found the answer he wanted but soon enough he will find it someday in his part…

trademark

~tim~

as it stated above it…well this thing happen during  the mssd all school championship…well i have be doing my personal training and doing practice all by myself without a coach wasting time and train under the sun guess what it would look like,ya it is su*k…cause the weather is hot and dry,sure it burn the hell out of me rite but when the championship days arrive things doesn’t look the way should be

it have be a hard week to me…so hard till hardly cant breath in air and..ya tat rite… I HAD LOSS MY COMPETITION…what crap rite..cant believe it hor…under the sun train and train but result dun ever ask…i tot i can win and qualify to go to msss and to the next level mssm because i have give all out to it but never had a chance…i juz feel lost and loss all my confident and courage after the competition feeling so sap pai and tot this year is my calling but it is not(wtf)..well horoscope say tat the week is my a good week,saying i will succeed in everything  i do(fu*k it)…all my hope and trust i place but lastly nothing i got in return…NOTHING AT ALL…What crap…haiz…juz feel lost and sap pai all week till today…well i got hope for miracles to happen but is not my call anyway…haiz…and yes,there always god to help me whenever i fall…he will pick me up heal my wound and help me to and walk with me in my part/walk of life…but it need time to heal and to gain my own strength and self confident again rite…but there always is second chance rite…and i belive in it…therefore i will never give up myself juz because of this thing there is always next thing coming up and maybe i can qualify for it ler whose know rite..ok till here i write today…again i remind u tat ur day can be lucky but i can be ur worst day…tell if u read tis pls comfort me and help me go through tis thing..help and thanks

i have walked the road of life

on crutches,

and on tear,

but on the sheer strength

of an iron will i have

i have walked the road

i have walked the road of life

not for an apology

but for the glory of my own

on the unwavering courage and confident

of my endearing family support

i have walked the road

i have walked the road of life

not for the star in the sky

but for my own life

not for the answers to all the why’s

but for the answer to ownself

on the good wished of well-meaning friends i have

i have walked the road

i have walked the road of life

a road paved with fond memories of my pass

a road paved with uncondition love from my friend

a road paved with tender care from my family

i turn back to see what i have left behind

only to find

a well paved-road

for i have had walk through

a great walk of life i have

well tis few comes and goes thing happen around me affect me very much…i’m as the president of athletic club and blue house president…being the finest sportman around skool in hoping tat everyone in skul get the best training and good coach…yet i kena stab by some ppl tat never tot of it would affect me tat much…

juz yesterday i was call up to the skool office because someone screw me saying tat i trying to resign a teacher from the athletic club…tis to much man…how can tis fella juz go and spreading news and story like tat…really too much

anyhow thing had already happen so i got no choice but juz to look front and ahead of me…too bad..hope thing will be better soon..in hoping to find myself again pls encourage me to face my challenge..god bless me and help me..guide me through this..amen

i juz hate ppl say i a jerk or coward…4 i know i not em…every girl in my new skool juz always stab me at my back…i juz dunno y they juz like it…am i tat suck…*smack at forehead

juz dunno y they can’t leave me alone here…alone in my comfort area between my arm…well basically at my skool got alot of leng chai la…*juz dunwan to be perasan..but they r like lala chai…*yuck..no wonder n girl like em…well all i hope next year will be a better year…cause i dun wanna be have  those ugly word from girl..all i wana is to study there and have fun goin to skool…

god give me courage and peace

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you its only seed

It’s the soul afraid of dreaming,
That never learns to dance
And the soul afraid of waking,
That never takes the chance

It’s the one, who won’t be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying,
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
When you feel that love is only
For the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun’s love
In the spring becomes the rose

No man/woman is worth your tears and the only one who is, will never make you cry. If you love someone, put their name in a circle, instead of a heart, because hearts can break, but circles go on forever.

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t jump with them, I’d be at the bottom to catch them.

"Don’t frown, because you never know who’s falling in love with your smile!"

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them"

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." Plato

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone."

"Enthusiasm is contagious. You could start an epidemic!"

Send this to everyone you will never forget, and send it back to the person who sent it to you too, just to show them that you will never forget them too.

If you don’t send it back, it means that you’re not a true friend. So send it to everyone that you never will forget.

i dunno wat to write here also…it was 2 days ago….well tis girl from penang (Ann) was here in kl(kuala lumpur) which i totally didn’t noe about it…i noe it on sunday when she reply me back *weird…n she told me about it i was so so freak out(freak out 1st time in my entire life) when she told me she was in kl…summore it was last minute stuff…i was so so freak out until lk a dead man laying on my bed…so i juz sent her msg until late nite…beside tat i also ask some friend around(which she noe em) to come and have a small gathering in klcc futhermore i was cancelling all my appointment and sacrifice some of my improtant time juz to be with her…basically some friend didn’t show up the next day(sux em) so i and josh when to meet her…well josh was late…so i meet her at sceret recipe …we had lunch there,it was wonderful lunch futhermore i got em some cute present…we have talk until sherine wanna have more window shopping(*guess she wanna leave us alone)so she goes off without her..we had little chat until sherine back n josh come…so we off 4 some group photo after some photo shooting we had some chatting…well it was fun/nice(1st time look so good in pic) we have some stupid lame joke about penang and kl ppl…hahahaa..well we laugh so much tat time(i notice she look so so pretty when she laugh*james blunt -beautiful- song playing in my head)… ^.^ ….until the time come which 4 us to depart…it was so such a heavy burden to juz let her go…i wish i had more time together 4 or stop the time 4 some other event but can’t…well she leave kl in 3.15pm(i remenber the exact time cause most important)…4 me it was such a heavy burden juz to let em go ,tat time i wanna stop the bus from leaving so badly…but on 2nd tot,i can’t do tat if yes sure ppl gonna think wat ppl i am or maybe end up in jail 4 doin so…after they leave i and josh had some talk about em(clean talk)…well i n josh depart at the klcc putra station….

well basically i writing about tis blog it juz to remenber her tat all(miss her so much*m2m song playing)…well i will still wait 4 my time to arrive when god said so….when it time i hope our relationship will last 4ever…hehee (’,')…

haiz…bored holiday dunno wat to do at all…my life in holiday like sleep,play,outing…but still bored haiz…duno y

i wish i can spend my time with my buddies but missing(busy)…

life without friend r really bored…dunno wat to do at all..each minute pass is super bored i wish all my friend r here to share their time with me… -.- haiz